Christmas blues...

I haven't updated since Christmas because the story I am about to tell is so sad and depressing, I didn't want to bother with it. But, I must.

The Christmas Morning from HELL

I was such a breezy, cheerful, full of Christmas Spirit angel with curly hair and furry white sweater and arm-loads of Christmas presents a moment ago. Laughing at Baby opening all his toy guns, joyfully giving The Boyfriend armloads of thoughful, sweet gifts just for him. (A dartboard cabinet, for his favorite hobby; a lime and 6-pack of Corona, his favorite drink; a pack of playing cards--the thing we did with friends as we fell in love; a giant Special Dark Hershey's bar, his favorite candy; and a black cashmere scarf to keep him warm and to go with his new formal overcoat)
But wait, it is time for me to open my present. Why is he shuffling around, mumbling? Why is his best friend yelling at him to get it over with--rip off the bandaid, he roars!--and give it to me?
Why is HE, the BOYFRIEND, practically in tears, opening my present, while explaining it to me???
Because, it is the ultimate let-down. A giftcard. for. the. mall.
(Oh, and some Bath and Bodyworks products that smell like the aforementioned Corona)
Not a gift "for me" at all, just some random present thrown in my direction. FELT LIKE CRYING. FELT LIKE TEARING HIS HEAD FROM HIS BODY AND SHOVING IT DOWN RESULTING GAPING NECK HOLE. FELT LIKE CRYING SOME MORE.
BUT, don't get me wrong. There is a reason he did so poorly at the gift-giving, and it's a doozy!
He.... waited until Christmas eve to go to the mall because he had a plan and KNEW what he was going to get me. Only, what the crap??? Did anyone know Coach purses are EXPENSIVE???
Then, because he couldn't afford the gift he wanted to get me, he panicked, he couldn't think, he rushed to the nearest customer service desk and... bought me a gift card.

Later on, Franny yelled at The Boyfriend--"She doesn't even like Bath and Body Works, what were you thinking?!"
Responds the Boyfriend: "But, Stephanie, at work, said girls love B and BW!"
Franny: "GIRLS!!! Stephanie is 17. Women do not shop at B and BW! Didn't you even go look in her room, right next door, and see what she wears?!"
The Boyfriend: "Have you ever been in B and BW? There were too many smells!!! I couldn't figure it out, they all started smelling the same!"

To tell you the truth, I felt really bad for him. I personally have never procrastinated and panicked in the gift-giving area, but I can see how it could happen. Especially with the first Christmas.

Franny told me later that her now-husband, The Boyfriend's Best Friend, got her the worst gift ever for their first Christmas--a tentlike blue-flowered dress off the clearance rack at Fashion Bug that was 2 sizes too small--which she opened in front of her entire family and upon seeing, promptly blurted out: "You got me a...dress?" Franny never wears dresses, especially not blue-tent-flower dresses. (He got it because he thought she'd look pretty in a blue dress with her blue eyes.)

So maybe there's hope afterall. Valentine's Day is coming soon!! heehee!

crash and burn at janeh928@yahoo.com