Thursday, January 26, 2006

The First Date:

This guy was a friend way back in the day--one of my old time friends. NOT ANYMORE. He is arrogant. He talks about himself too much. HE STARED AT MY RACK WHILE I TALKED. He won't stop calling me.
That's right. He won't. I got 7 messages on my phone from him yesterday. I have officially had enough.
I can't win. Monk never called me. He always forgot I existed. This guy can't leave well enough alone. I don't need to be updated when he gets up in the morning, or when he goes to lunch at work, or when he goes to the bathroom at home in the evening. We're talking WAY too much communication here. WAY. TOO. MUCH.
At least when he calls he can't talk to the twins!

The Second Date:
Actual word usage: ICEBOX. (I kid you not.)
It gets worse.
More actual word usage: Lousy. (As in, "It was just a lousy deal, pal. Now hold my tommy-gun so I can break out in a snap-finger shuffle-0ff-to-buffalo with my gang!")
My response: "Where did you learn to talk? 1930's in the Bronx?"
Him: "Well, I lived with my grandparents for a lot of my childhood, and now I'm a pastor with an older congregation. Why, what did I say?"
Hmmmm....I don't know...does "This dip in the icebox sure is lousy Mary," sound at all familiar?
(Plus... his teeth were majorly stained from smoking. Pipe smoking. I kid you not! His teeth were the same color as the wooden table we sat at!)

It must be nice in Vermont this time of year...all that snow! at


Blogger The Lumberjack said...

What insanity! Why is it that a good guy like FIRST DATE could become so self-absorbed, with difficulty for keeping his eyes above ground?! What happened to FIRST DATE? And if you don't mind, I'll take Second Date. I prefer men with tobacco stained teeth.

Maybe one day the world will be better when boys become men & not morons.

9:33 PM  

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