Kitty and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning...
Once upon a time there was a girl who went to bed with a headache. When she woke up the next morning, it was still there. She also had approximately 17 spider bites, two on her feet. "Ouch," said the girl.
She went to the bathroom, and found that Aunt Flow was visiting. "Double ouch," said the girl.
Next, to brush her teeth...the girl had a canker sore! "Super double ouch," said the girl.
After brushing her teeth, the girl went to get dressed, but before she could put on any clothes, her trusty Scotsman had to put oil on her very sunburned shoulders. He rubbed too hard, and the girl said, "That's enough pain for one day!!!!"
The girl put on her Friday outfit--capris with a tank top and a zippy sweatshirt. She put on some slip-on shoes that wouldn't touch her bug bites. She had hit snooze too many times that morning, so no breakfast before work, but she had cereal for such mornings in her office.
Off to work--a one-hour drive. Maybe life will get better.
Only, about 10 minutes before the girl reached her office, she realized, "Today is NOT FRIDAY! It is only Thursday!! And I have a client meeting!" The girl almost said a bad word to the squirrel next to her car as she pulled into the office parking lot.
Her boss was waiting for her, with reports for the clients. He tapped his foot, and laughed at all the things the girl was holding--her purse, her planner, her sunglasses and regular glasses, her car keys, her ID tag, and her report binder.
"You look like a hobo," the boss said.
The girl ran to the vending machine to grab a granola bar to eat on the way to the meeting. The machine asked for 85 cents, even though the granola bar only cost 80 cents, then, let the bar teeter a centimeter from the edge of the shelf it sat on, but didn't let the granola bar drop into the slot. The girl kicked the vending machine, but nothing happened. "HUNGRY" said the girl's stomach.
The girl went to the meeting with her boss and the clients. She looked quite silly in her Friday outfit, among all the slacks and pressed shirts of everyone else. "What a day," said the girl.
Halfway through the meeting, she needed to scream and roll on the floor because of cramps, but she sat there quietly instead, drawing pictures of kitties with horns and pitchforks stabbing the word "THURSDAY". The drawing didn't help.
The meeting was finally over, and the girl went back to her own office--finally, breakfast! OH, and 75 unanswered emails that have arrived within the last two hours! She still had a headache, a bad sunburn and 17 spider bites. The girl had tears in her eyes by this point.
The girl went to the printer down the hall. When she came back into her office, she ripped her pants on a desk drawer. She kicked the desk, but like the vending machine, nothing happened.
The girl searched and searched until she found a sewing kit. She sewed together her pants. It was now time for lunch, and the girl was glad that her terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning was finally over.
What bad thing could possibly happen on a Thursday afternoon?
(And, by the way, where was her wallet?)
"the end" at janeh928@yahoo.com
Once upon a time there was a girl who went to bed with a headache. When she woke up the next morning, it was still there. She also had approximately 17 spider bites, two on her feet. "Ouch," said the girl.
She went to the bathroom, and found that Aunt Flow was visiting. "Double ouch," said the girl.
Next, to brush her teeth...the girl had a canker sore! "Super double ouch," said the girl.
After brushing her teeth, the girl went to get dressed, but before she could put on any clothes, her trusty Scotsman had to put oil on her very sunburned shoulders. He rubbed too hard, and the girl said, "That's enough pain for one day!!!!"
The girl put on her Friday outfit--capris with a tank top and a zippy sweatshirt. She put on some slip-on shoes that wouldn't touch her bug bites. She had hit snooze too many times that morning, so no breakfast before work, but she had cereal for such mornings in her office.
Off to work--a one-hour drive. Maybe life will get better.
Only, about 10 minutes before the girl reached her office, she realized, "Today is NOT FRIDAY! It is only Thursday!! And I have a client meeting!" The girl almost said a bad word to the squirrel next to her car as she pulled into the office parking lot.
Her boss was waiting for her, with reports for the clients. He tapped his foot, and laughed at all the things the girl was holding--her purse, her planner, her sunglasses and regular glasses, her car keys, her ID tag, and her report binder.
"You look like a hobo," the boss said.
The girl ran to the vending machine to grab a granola bar to eat on the way to the meeting. The machine asked for 85 cents, even though the granola bar only cost 80 cents, then, let the bar teeter a centimeter from the edge of the shelf it sat on, but didn't let the granola bar drop into the slot. The girl kicked the vending machine, but nothing happened. "HUNGRY" said the girl's stomach.
The girl went to the meeting with her boss and the clients. She looked quite silly in her Friday outfit, among all the slacks and pressed shirts of everyone else. "What a day," said the girl.
Halfway through the meeting, she needed to scream and roll on the floor because of cramps, but she sat there quietly instead, drawing pictures of kitties with horns and pitchforks stabbing the word "THURSDAY". The drawing didn't help.
The meeting was finally over, and the girl went back to her own office--finally, breakfast! OH, and 75 unanswered emails that have arrived within the last two hours! She still had a headache, a bad sunburn and 17 spider bites. The girl had tears in her eyes by this point.
The girl went to the printer down the hall. When she came back into her office, she ripped her pants on a desk drawer. She kicked the desk, but like the vending machine, nothing happened.
The girl searched and searched until she found a sewing kit. She sewed together her pants. It was now time for lunch, and the girl was glad that her terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning was finally over.
What bad thing could possibly happen on a Thursday afternoon?
(And, by the way, where was her wallet?)
"the end" at janeh928@yahoo.com
posted by kittybrunette at 12:11 PM
5 Comments:
Did that really all happen, because that's pretty impressive.
It really did all happen! And, I must tell you--you get the scoop, as I have not been able to write about it yet--PIZZA BOYS ARE BAD NEWS!!!! A Papa John's pizza delivery boy rear-ended my little car this weekend, and it is in the shop being repaired :*( Poor Millenium Falcon--has no rear defenses in heavy traffic! It might be totalled--I haven't found out yet.
But, that's all in one weekend (starting on Thursday) I would say that it was all pretty bad luck.
You totally rock.
Wow. What a horrible day! At least you can write eloquently about it, if that is any consolation!
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